Left-Speak-- A Glossary of Terms

If you parse their sentences, the speech of the Left can be at times befuddling unless you understand their unique usage of terms.  So that you may better understand Left-speak in the future, I offer the following glossary.  This is by no means an exhaustive list.  These are some of the more common and/or more recent examples.  You might want to print this and keep it on-hand for those times when you are unable to avoid Left-speak:

Arsenal: (reader submitted) Plural of "Firearm". An arsenal is found in a "Compound".

Assault Weapon: Firearm

Bi-Partisan: Leftist / Progressive, Socialist, Marxist, etc.. Example: Republicans regularly work with Domocrats on "Bi-Partisain" legislation. (Also see Moderate)

Border Security: Racism

Budget Cut: A massive government spending increase that could have been even larger if not for the "Divisiveness" in our society.

Capitalism: (see "Greed")

Change: Socialism. Example: "I am the candidate of 'Change'."

Children: Government. (Variations are, "The Children" and "Our Children") Example: "In our 'Compassion' 'We' are creating this new entitlement program for 'Our Children'." Or; "This new national RFID implant system will help 'Our Children'.

Climate Change: See "Global Warming". Climate change is slightly more flexible in that no matter what happens, it is bad, Liberty is to blame, and socialism, as for all things, is the solution.

Common Good, The: Socialism

Compassion: Deep, warm, heartfelt desire for government intervention against one's neighbors. Example: "'We' must approach all issues with great 'Compassion'."

Compassionate Conservative: 1. (reader submitted) A concept used to allow the government to invade all aspects of life through increased "Resource Allocation" while invoking religious tolerance as a means to garner support. 2. A "Progressive" who has infiltrated the Republican Party so as to garner votes from those who want to destroy the Republican Party as an effective alternative to "Progressive" politics. The majority of Republicans are "Compassionate Conservatives".

Compound: The home of a firearm owner.

Compromise: Letting go of your silly, ignorant and outdated American ideals of Liberty, and moving always in the direction of pure socialism as a way of showing those who want to destroy you that you are not closed-minded, stubborn, silly, ignorant or outdated. You are then closed-minded, stubborn, silly, ignorant and outdated again when the Left wants you to cave-in the next time they want something, which starts approximately three seconds after you last caved.

Conservative: Often thought of as an antonym to "Liberal", it is akin to "Liberal" in the sense that the word cannot be use correctly without qualifiers. To the Left however, it is clearly a dirty word, used to describe a racist, sexist, bigoted, white-trash homophobe who wants to dirty the air, dirty the water, spoil the planet, oppress the working class, torture animals, ruin America's global reputation, start wars, starve "Children" and kick old people out into the streets with no food or medicine, all as a means of self-enrichment. Conservatives with dark skin are especially mind-boggling and egregious creatures, and no "Progressive" can afford to acknowledge their existence without resorting to the "U" term (Uncle Tom), as they consider a dark skin color to be synonymous with a "Progressive" political orientation. (Archaic: One who advocates, or is reticent to depart from, the status-quo.)

Criminal: Victim-- especially a victim of the exploitative middle and upper classes. (No one would ever do anything to hurt anyone else, except when goaded into it by the horrible conditions created by the adherents of "Capitalism")

Dissent: Dissent is a very, very good thing. It is one of the few things worthwhile about America (so long as we are talking about a leftist dissenting with anyone who favors Liberty. In all other cases, see "Divisiveness" below).

Divisiveness: Speaking ill of or disagreeing with socialists or socialism. Divisiveness is one of the worst things in our society today and is largely perpetrated in talk radio, blogs, private conversations, etc., by members of the pig Bourgeoisie. This can be cause for legal action since it could in theory cause other people to question socialists and socialism and thereby harming the Left or a Leftist. (You have no right to harm another person unless that person is being 'Divisive', in which case it is encouraged). (also see "Partisanship")

Economic Justice: Socialism (also see "Social Justice")

Education: Used by itself, the word "Education" refers only to public education, i.e. a government-run, coercively funded system of socialist indoctrination. Example: "'We' must 'Invest' in 'Education' for the sake of 'Our Children's' future. Any other form of teaching must be identified using qualifiers, as in, "Private Education", which refers to a system of promoting "Divisiveness" and "Intolerance".

Fairness: Socialism

Fascist: 1. Opposition to the "Progressive" theories of the Left. Interestingly, since the Fascisti were dedicated Marxists, "Fascist" in Leftspeak applies to anything or anyone that is anti-Fascist, which is to say that the word "Fascist", as many other words in Leftspeak, has the exact opposite meaning from the same word spoken in English. 2. A person who opposes Fascism/socialism/totalitarianism. (Examples;
"President Ronald Reagan was a 'Fascist'".
In its base meaning; if an average Leftist wants to order a veggie pizza, and you and your friend want a combo pizza, and therefore out vote the Leftist on the pizza order for the fraternity party, it means that you and your friend "...are 'Fascists', Man! That's just tewwtally wrooong, dude!")

In the mind of the average Leftist "Fascism" means something akin to "distasteful". In the mind of the more sophisticated Leftist, "Fascist" means "politically distasteful" or "one who is politically at odds with the Left" and is used to describe anything or anyone the Leftist sees as a threat to his Fascist beliefs, anyone and anything the leftist hates, or anyone with whom the Leftist disagrees (no Leftist is capable of understanding the fact that "Fascists" and Leftists comprise pretty much the exact same set of people. World history escapes the Leftist entirely, Google.com notwithstanding).
3. Republican

Fear Monger: One who disagrees with socialists or socialism. Specifically, one who tries to warn others about the dangers of socialism and the attendant loss of Liberty. When the left warns us that Liberty would cause the destruction of the entire planet, they are not "Fear Mongering" because they are motivated only by "Compassion". If you disagree with them, saying that, for example, self defense is a human right, you are paranoid and/or a "Fear Monger".

Fifty Caliber Rifle: The most powerful and terrifying weapon ever devised by the sick mind of man, possessing magical powers of self-will, with wanton mass destruction as its goal, able to take down a jumbo jet, for example, from several miles away with a single shot. No human other than a sadistic murder ever used, wanted, or was even slightly interested in, a "Fifty Caliber Rifle". Due to tragic and inexcusable inaction on the part of legislators, and due to inordinate influence of the merchants of death (the NRA and their henchmen in the gun industry) billions of hardened criminals now legally buy, sell, trade and stockpile "Fifty Caliber Rifles" and are at this very moment poised, looking through the sights of their "Fifty Caliber Rifles", ready to annihilate with a single trigger squeeze, anything that annoys them, or anyone who disagrees with them who is unfortunate enough to hazard to within a ten mile radius of one of these monster killers. Trillions of people, mostly children in kindergartens, are killed every day by "Fifty Caliber Rifles" sold to criminals by illegal gun dealers at gun shows. The NRA celebrates each of these deaths by passing out cigars, brandy, 100-dollar bills and cheap handguns to pre-schoolers.

"Fifty Caliber Rifle"

First Amendment: (see "Unity") Leftists acknowledge the speech clause in the "First Amendment" as critically important, but only for themselves. The religion clause grants "Progressives" the power to ban religious practices or religious symbols they find offensive (though they don't find radicalized Islam even slightly offensive). The "First Amendment" is highly flexible. For instance it does not protect "Divisiveness" in any way whatever, since "Divisiveness" is an obstacle to "Unity" and "Fairness".

Fiscal Responsibility: Confiscating other people's money and spending it for your personal aggrandizement like there's no tomorrow while demanding appreciation and thanks for the fact that you could be doing more of it. Example: "If elected, I promise "Change" and will demand 'Fiscal Responsibility' from Congress."

Free Speech: (see "Dissent", "Divisiveness", "Fairness", "First Amendment" and"Unity")

Global Community: Most of the population of the world lives under some form of socialist tyranny, often very brutal socialist tyranny. Americans have historically lived much better lives due to our relatively higher levels of freedom and Liberty. For this we are to hate America (if anyone is poor or unhappy, it can only be the willful doing of the more prosperous) and we are to strive to make America more like the rest of the world (poor and oppressed) as a show of solidarity, thus achieving the "Global Community" and gaining "Respect" from around the world (also see "Peace").

Global Warming: (see Global Community)

Great Society: Socialist Society

Greed: Striving to produce valuable products and services for one's fellow man, and deliver them through peaceable, voluntary exchange, as the means of elevating one's standard of living and/or satisfying one's self-interests. (see "Judgmentalism" and "Reason") To the Left, "Greed" is responsible for all the evils of the world, and should be tempered with much "Compassion".

Hate: Expressions of disagreement with "Progressives".
Archaic; Disapproval of other peoples based on race, color, creed, etc.. Bigotry. (Apparently, disapproval of one's political views now constitutes bigotry, but only if such disapproval is directed at "Progressives".)

Illegal Immigration: A thoroughly meaningless term invented by racists as a means of justifying racist legislation. Attempting to use "Reason" to explain it will reinforce your status as a racist.

Invest: To confiscate and redistribute. Example: "'We' must 'Invest' in Our Children's' future."

Judgmentalism: Thinking for one's self in one's self-interest, i.e. making decisions or value judgments based on principles, evidence, and rational thought. In the eyes of the Left, this is one of worst crimes that could be committed, especially if it results in your becoming a successful American pig. The "ism" is tagged on to indicate that it is to be viewed as an organized culture or movement. (also see "Reason")

Liberal: Socialist. However, this is an impossible term to use correctly without adding qualifiers. Most liberals hate being called liberals and accordingly use this term very rarely. "Liberal" has become an epithet in the eyes of the socialist, either because it implies that one is an advocate of Liberty, which socialists aren't, or because it correctly describes the person as socialist. No one knows for sure which. (Archaic: One who advocates Liberty. Thomas Jefferson would have considered himself a liberal. Today's liberals would consider Thomas Jefferson a "Judgmental" and "Divisive" pig. If he were president, they would engage in "Dissent" with a vengeance.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness: Socialism. Example: "America was founded so as to guarantee 'Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness'."

Loophole: Liberty. Example: "There are too many 'Loopholes' in our legal system." "Gun owners take advantage of the large number of inexcusable 'Loopholes'" etc..

Make A Difference: Use Obfuscation and deception to justify further initiation of force. Example: "I'm majoring in journalism because I want to be able to 'Make A Difference'."

Moderate: A leftist/socialist (in denial). When a leftist wants to be perceived favorably, he'll claim the label "Moderate" so as to lend some degree of credibility to his radical, anti-rights, anti-American position. Example; "As a moderate, my new trillion-dollar government expansion bill has several "Bi-Partisan" elements, including carbon emission limits and increased spending to help with the development of "Our Children". My uncanny ability to reach across the isle has made this fantastic bill possible, and will ensure its passage in the Senate."

Multi-Cultural (reader submitted): 1. Any culture but American culture, i.e. anti-American. The term is used to indicate to other "Progressives" that the speaker believes the Judeo-Christian and capitalist basis of America must be over-ridden with cultures from every unsuccessful backwater on the planet, thereby delivering us into a "Global Community".
2. Tofu, yogurt, cheese, etc., or white mold and green mold, in the same dish.

Need: This wonderfully flexible term can mean anything the socialist wants it to mean and can change from one instant to another. Example: "You have more than you 'Need' so 'We' are going to take it from you and use it for 'Education' and 'Safety' programs that will help with the continued development of 'Our Children'." Leftists continually fantasize about installing themselves as the "Need" police.

New Deal: Socialist Revolution. Example: "FDR gave us the 'New Deal', which will ensure 'Fairness' and 'Social Justice'. Now, for the first time, the 'Rich' will be just as worried as the 'Poor'."

Open Mind: One that unquestioningly embraces socialism as the answer to all things. Example: "'We' must keep an 'Open Mind' when considering economic and social policy."

Partisanship: See "Divisiveness". Leftists are incapable of "Partisanship" because they are motivated only by "Compassion" and concern for the future of "Our Children".

Patriot: One who practices "Dissent".

Peace: The lack of meaningful opposition to socialist, Marxist, Fascist, communist or jihadist military expansionism. Example: "It's time to stand up and fight for 'Peace'". Also see "Unity".

Poor: Someone with less than me who also shares my "Progressive" political views. "Poor" people are a great asset to the Progressive, as they can be paraded in front of cameras at election time as "Victims" of the nasty and dirty capitalists. Someone with less than me who has political views at odds with mine is a stupid, ignorant, backwater hick/hayseed/drunk/yahoo, and probably a "Racist" and a wife beater, who deserves his lower station in life.

Private Property: This is a confusing term to the Left, usually considered a nasty or insulting term. "Greedy" people use it in an attempt to hurt the feelings, or thwart the "Compassion"-inspired activities of Leftists. If a Leftist were to use the term at all it would usually mean; "That for which 'We' have no 'Need' at the moment". A leftist will occasionally slip up and assert his own "Private Property" rights. This is not to be seen as hypocritical as Leftists are never "Greedy".

Profit: Probably the filthiest term in Left-Speak, "Profit" defines value that is stolen from unsuspecting victims of innovation and productivity, and then hoarded for the purpose of toying with the less fortunate as a means of entertainment. The theft takes place through peaceable, voluntary exchange and as such it is the worst form of acquisition imaginable. Properly, acquisition is accomplished either through legislation which threatens the producer with fines or jail sentences, or by way of government subsidy using resources so acquired. "Profit" is always to be pronounced in a spitting, contemptuous, accusing, hateful manner. "Profit" is one of the primary goals of "Greedy" and "Divisive" people and would be illegal if not for a conspiracy of "Special Interests".

Progressive: Socialist. It was once widely believed that progress was that which improved our productivity potential, opportunity and standard of living. In Left-Speak it means a return to the statist/totalitarian/collectivist systems under which people have suffered for thousands of years. Like many of the terms they use, the Left has turned this one around exactly 180 degrees.

Proof: Anything a "Progressive" believes. "Proof" then directly reinforces everything else that a "Progressive" believes.
Interestingly (and perhaps fittingly) in computer programming this is known as an "infinite loop" and it typically locks up the program, causing it to reject any and all further input.

Provide: To redistribute or allocate resources that have been extorted from the productive members of a society, giving it to the less productive and the non productive. Example: "'We' must 'Provide' for the General Welfare by ensuring affordable housing for the masses, yap yap yap yap, yapitty yap yap."

Race: This is the first and last thing that a Leftist needs to known about a person. Belonging to a non-white race denotes either "Progressive" thinking, or status as an "Uncle Tom"-- one or the other. Though there are several races that could be termed "white" they are all considered as one, they are almost certainly "Racists" until proven otherwise.

Racist: Anyone who has decided that individuals should be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, i.e. one who does not consider one's race as that person's primary identity factor. Failing to recognize the victim status (the aggrieved status and therefore the legally and socially entitled status) of an individual based purely on race is in itself an act of racist oppression (this typically applies only to black or brown races-- people of other colors are usually exempt from this rule unless they demand otherwise). "Racist" is yet another term that has been flipped upside-down in Left-Speak. (Archaic: One who judges people's character or worthiness based on the color of their skin)

Reason: This word is not used by the Left except when describing it as a "weapon" used against the oppressed classes. Instead, they use the word "Reasonable" as in "Reasonable restrictions" (any restrictions) on your Liberties (see "Compromise" above and learn to be "Reasonable").

Resource: That which is available for confiscation and redistribution. (see "Private Property")

Resource Allocation: The primary purpose of government. The only legitimate "Resource Allocation" is via coercion and extortion. Any other method of Resource Allocation, such as reason and cooperation, constitutes "Greed" and should be discouraged.

Respect: Contempt. Example: "While 'We' and our 'Conservative' colleagues have nothing but 'Respect' for one another, 'We' must strive to put an end to this 'Divisiveness'. "'We' must work together and win more 'Respect' from the 'Global Comminuty'. In so doing 'We' will help to ensure world 'Peace'."

Rich: Better off than someone else and having achieved this status by your own efforts without the involvement of socialists or socialism. Being "Rich" is (or should be) in and of itself, a criminal offense, placing the perpetrator outside the normal protections of the law. (also see "Uncle Tom")

Safety: Existence under strict government oversight and control. Some examples are "Airline Safety", "School Safety", "Home Safety", "Gun Safety", "Workplace Safety", etc.. Example: "It is the job of our elected officials to ensure our continued 'Safety'".

Scientist: Increasingly, this term is used to silence all discussion, debate, and especially "Divisiveness". In this sense, a "Scientist" is one who is enlisted by government interests to place a stamp of approval, under the guise of irrefutability, on socialist programs or laws. Example: "Any legitimate 'Scientist' will tell you that man-made 'Global Warming' is a clear and present danger, and that our 'Safety' must be ensured through swift legislative action in cooperation with the 'Global Community'." Previously, the term "Clergyman" or "God" served a similar purpose, and does so to this day in certain Muslim circles. (Archaic: A person engaged in the scientific process, with full disclosure and peer review, as a means of testing theories and discovering knowledge)

Second Amendment: 1. A piece of irrelevant gibberish written by foolish, old, dead, white, violent, rum-running, tax-dodging, paternalistic slave-owners who wouldn't understand anything about our modern "Global Community" if they saw it first-hand (since repealed by U.S. vs. Miller). It wouldn't apply in today's modern world even if it had any original purpose or meaning, which it didn't. The "Second Amendment" is invoked today only by violent, ignorant, alcoholic, backwoods, gun-happy, sister-humping, neo-Nazi, hate-mongering, anti-government, hairy-backed, crooked-tooth, smelly, white Neanderthals who love destruction and killing as a means of showing their dominance, compensating for their pathetically inadequate sexual prowess and distracting themselves from their own stupidity and illiteracy, or by those who profit from selling the tools of death and destruction to the former. 2. An important article in the Bill of Rights granting the government absolute authority and control over any form of weapon. Senses 1 and 2 may be used interchangeably, or even simultaneously, as desired, without hypocrisy. However, a Leftist would rather never mention, or be bothered with any mention of, the "Second Amendment". Like speaking to a jihadist about Jews, mentioning "The Second Amendment" to members of the Left makes them extremely nervous and can throw them into fits of uncontrollable rage (though this can be richly entertaining).

Selfishness: Thinking of or acting upon that which is in one's interest, or in the interest of one's family, friends, business, etc.. Because "Selfishness" is a bad thing, we must be forced by those in government (who are most wise) into anything and everything that is contrary to our interests. Only through the constant, pro-active and creative initiation of force, then, can we be rid of "selfishness" in the world. Also see "Greed".

Sniper: A person with a firearm or access to a firearm. (This term, as all others used by the Left, is entirely flexible and is used primarily to denigrate or impugn anyone who owns a gun or has a working knowledge of guns.)

Sniper Rifle: Rifle (though this can also mean any firearm).

Social Justice: Socialism (see Economic Justice above)

Social Security: Socialists' security

Special Interest: Any person, group or influence, especially political influence, with which Leftists disagree. "Special Interests" operate only through "Loopholes" that result from an unfortunate and inexcusable absence of legal restrictions.

Sustainable: Under never-ending, complete government control. Examples: "A market-based economy is not 'Sustainable'." "'We' must strive for 'Sustainable' 'Resource Allocation'" etc., ad nauseum.

The People: The government. Example: "...the right of 'The People' to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

Tolerance: The free and unopposed reign of socialists and socialism. Failure to tolerate socialists and socialism is something that should not, and will not, be tolerated.

Uncle Tom: Any American having even the slightest recognizable black African ancestry who is not a lock-step "Progressive", i.e. a "Judgmental" dark-skinned American. Example: Clarence Thomas, having been indoctrinated in "Divisiveness" and being incapable of "Tolerance", is an "Uncle Tom" and is therefore the lowest form of vile scum on the planet. (Archaic: A slave who worked in favor of the slave-owner and against fellow slaves.)

Unity: Similar to "Peace", unity describes a situation in which all opposition to socialists and socialism has been effectively silenced. Whereas "Peace" describes a lack of military opposition, "Unity" describes a lack of opposing views in the media, in politics, or in personal interactions.

Universal Health Care: Socialized medicine, i.e. socialism. Specifically, a means by which you would be obliged to support or tolerate a certain political party or doctrine in order to save your very life.

Victim: Everyone and everything within the sphere of human influence. Capitalists are victims because they never know what it's like to be "Compassionate" or to even live. Everyone and everything else is a victim of the capitalists. Nothing in life is more precious than to have achieved the highest levels of victimhood, and to have thus garnered the fawning attention and the tearful, gushing "Compassion" of the "Progressives" in the national media so as to win the opportunity to pin the blame for your suffering on capitalists and capitalism.

We: We socialists. We the collective. This is a subtle term but it has a powerful meaning. Saying "We" this and "We" that reinforces the collective thinking of the "Progressive" a bit like a mantra, while ignoring any sense of self or of self interest. Example: "'We' must ensure the 'Safety' of all through 'Education' for 'Our Children' and with 'Progressive' programs such as 'Universal Health Care', advocacy of 'Social Justice', 'Tolerance', and 'Peace', thereby by fostering 'Unity' within the 'Global Community', through the advocacy of 'Change' while working closely with the 'Scientists' to create a 'Sustainable' world economy.

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